Musical Terms

Some definitions for you to ponder…

BANDSTAND: The area furthest away from an electrical outlet.

BIG BAND: Nowadays, an aggregation consisting of two musicians.

CLASSICAL COMPOSER: A man ahead of his time and behind in the rent.

DOUBLE BASS: The instrument the folks footing the bill feel is unnecessary.

DOWNBEAT: The magazine that would have you believe that all jazz musicians are working.

JAZZ: The only true American art form beloved by Europeans.

MELLOPHONE: An instrument best put to use when converted into a lamp.

MOVIE COMPOSER: Someone who can write like anyone except himself.

NEW AGE: A musical substitute for Valium.

ORCHESTRATOR: The musician who enhances a composer’s music, only to be chastised for it.

PERCUSSIONIST: A drummer who can’t swing.

PERFECT PITCH: The ability to pinpoint any note and still play out of tune.

SIDEMAN: The appellation that guarantees a musician will never be rich.

STEADY ENGAGEMENT: Look up in Webster’s Dictionary under the word  ”imagination.”

UNION REP: A guy who thinks big bands are coming back.

VERSE: The part of a tune that’s disposable, except to its composer.

–o–

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